Relationship Advice Cheating, Cheating Relationship, Cheating in a Relationship... Let's Get Right Down to It People!

A story submitted from one of you BootCamp Peeps... Thanks and Hope it adds a little strut to your stride during tough times...
Our Advice to Curtis:

"Relationship"

by Curtis
(London)

My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year now. I love her a lot but our relationship has had its lows. While we were together for the first five months, she cheated on me. I found out but she kept denying it even though I knew for a fact that she did. I broke up with her and and we obviously weren't on good terms. We stopped talking for six months and one day, I received an e-mail from her telling me that she misses me and she still loves me and that she cannot get over me. Since I had not stopped loving her, and I missed her as well, I was happy to hear from her. We made up and we started to see each other again. She still had not confessed to anything and still kept denying that she cheated on me. I began to regret taking her back so easily and realized that I rushed back into the relationship without thinking things through.

Wanting to hear the truth from her mouth, one day I confronted her about and showed her the proof that I knew she was cheating on me (e-mail messages). She admitted to everything and said she was sorry for everything and made a terrible mistake. She also added that she hadn't realized that she loved me when she was with me for the first five months and that while we weren't together, she realized how much she loves me.

Our relationship right now is very shaky. I think I still resent her for how she treated me. I am having major trust issues with her. Even though she says she wouldn't ever hurt me again, I feel paranoid and jumpy all the time. I am tired of feelings stressed because it is starting to get to me. Also, through a little bit of digging, I've learned she has met many guys off the internet and had sexual relationships with them long before we even started talking and even during the six months we didn't talk. This makes me look at her differently and I don't think I respect her like I used to and it makes me even more paranoid.

We have our good times but when I start to think about what she did or if something reminds me of how hurt I was when I learned she cheated on me, I distance myself from her and get into a really bad mood. I don't feel close to her and she notices that as well. But I still cannot get myself to break up with her because I will miss her so much. I don’t know if I will be making a mistake if I break up with her. What if she loves me a lot and really does feel sorry for how she treated me? Can love and affection be enough without trust? Should I just forgive and and forget the past and start fresh? Is that even possible? I just don't know what to do. Our relationship can't keep going like this but at the same time I don't want to be without her. I still love her. I don't want to hurt her by telling her its over. But I don't want to hurt myself either by going through this stress or putting myself in a position to get hurt again. Need some insight on relationship advice cheating.

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